If the answer is already Yes, and you know you need help, you can skip this message and go straight to the remedy.
I just returned from a powerful pilgrimage to the sacred city of Rome, where, among many reminders of a once great civilization, I was struck by a deep sense of recognition in each of the many facades of a fallen Empire.
Just as our current American worldview dominates the global paradigm in this age, so Rome occupied the center of it’s universe for a moment in time. I could almost glimpse the fast forward to our great American cities in ruins as we follow the legacy of a great Empire in its inevitable decline due to excess, corruption, and resistance to change.
There is no “They”
It has been my recent and longtime practice to take the outer “reality” as a reflection of what is happening within, so I have been looking deeply at my unwillingness to change, my falling empire, my corruption and excess.
Part of what triggers me is the masculine ideal of conquest, the drive to create an “empire” that is ultimately unsustainable and eternally insatiable in its appetite for control and power. All this is done under the pretense of protecting the world from barbarians, communists, rebels, terrorists… Though I cannot claim to occupy the throne of any empire, I recently came to terms with my inner drive to be the Protector and how much I identified that role with my worth as a man.
Protecting the Victim
As it turns out, I was acting in many subtle ways to protect those around me: from conflict, from failure, from pain, from ridicule, from confrontation, from loss, from rejection. This was almost unconscious, but when I began to see how much energy I was putting out to keep others safe, happy, I realized I was exhausted. And, at the same time, I got in touch with a deep sense of failure, because I could see that I was NOT able to protect them from any of the things I was working so hard to avoid. My imaginary empire had already been infiltrated by the supposed enemy.
What’s worse? By holding so much energy around this archaic model of manhood I realized that I was keeping each of my loved ones that I was “protecting” in the place of victim, acting myself as some glorified rescuer, and empowering the idea that they were somehow being attacked by the world, rather than seeing their challenges as opportunities for their growth and personal evolution.
Ooh…wait…I’m doing this to myself, too, aren’t I? Ouch.
And, to add a little lemon juice in the wound, in a fantastically ironical twist, I was also cast in a recent family drama in the role of perpetrator, barbarian, just so I could feel the full insanity of the triangulation of the victim-attacker-rescuer inferno…and finally make the choice to step out of the triangle.
No Exit?
It’s not easy…and it’s not always obvious, in fact, it’s incredibly sneaky.
On the other hand, I realized that if I can look at my life and identify a perpetrator, or anyone I are trying to rescue/protect, or my own wish to be rescued/protected…I am in the triangle. And, I am in the downward spiral of a falling Empire based on the illusion of victimization and protection.
And let me just add…this is not new to me. I have known about this for years, thought I was out of it, beyond it, and above it. Dig deeper.
Look into this Archetype of Protector: Who was I protecting? Myself? My loved ones? Certainly we protect our hearts once they have been hurt, and we tell ourselves the story over and over of how we have been the victims of someone else’s insensitivity or worse. We dress our hearts in the invisible armor of the gladiators, and set out to save and protect the world from the pain we have had to endure.
Roma || amoR
Once we have created a fortress around ourselves, sealed ourselves in the tower, and have eradicated the dangers from our surroundings, we fall into complacency and comfort and the inevitability of our demise. Wow…that sounds cynical, but truly this is not a doomsday prophesy. Rather, this is a call to shed the artifices of a dying worldview, to recreate the way we relate to one another and ourselves, and to begin to rebuild an Empire whose foundation is Love and not Fear.
Rome was NOT built in a day, my friends.
The good news is the Empire is not external, but internal. Ours is the inner work of rebuilding the temples and palaces of our internal world. We need to set about reclaiming, reconquering our inner territories in the name of Love, tearing down the walls of fear and Protection and domination and corruption that have too long kept our hearts in chains. Yes, the less good news is that before we can build a New World, we have to destroy the old. And that can be a difficult and painful process. But as always, the suffering is optional.
AND, the consolation prize is Grand: we are NOT ALONE.
In fact, we are all equally responsible for the remodel, all in the river together, and though the urgency for change is greater than ever so is the level of support and guidance that is available. I have found infinite value in being held accountable, and in committing to a process of healing and transformation during times of change.
If you are in need of a guide, a reflection, a partner, a facilitator, and/or a medicine man to support you on this journey, I am opening up a few spaces in my private practice to accelerate this process of rebuilding. My specialty is getting to the root, so we can lay a new foundation.
The beautiful thing about Rome is that layers upon layers have been build above the ruins of the ancient Capitol, and the modern mecca hums with a new and wisened evolution of it’s timeless beauty. The FALL is not a FAIL, and it is not the END, by any means. Our new inner city will arise from the rubble of this transition.
What IS so:
There is a law called gravity that says what goes UP must come DOWN.
And there is a converse law of Spirituality that says, in order to go UP, you must first go DOWN.
It is time to rebuild the foundations. No amount of effort we make to avoid the fall will prevent us from having to face the consequences of our past.
If you are at the bottom, and needing support to begin to rebuild…
OR if you are at the top, and feeling the castles made of sand beneath you…
OR if you are somewhere in the middle, and protecting yourself from inevitable change…
What I am offering:
We are ONE and the same. And, I am available to help, and I am inclined to heavily discount a powerful series of healing sessions for a few motivated individuals, but I only have a few spaces.
Please check out the offering at the OjaiMedicineWheel.com website.
This is the moment to take advantage of the medicine of the Sacred Ojai Valley as we approach the Summer Solstice and the fullness of our Solar expression. Time to get ready to SHINE.
I honor you as King and Queen, and creator of your New Empire. Let’s clear the palette so we can cocreate this New World together.
In service, in reverence, in gratitude, in Love,
Eric
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